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Brad Lidge Continues Relentless Pursuit Of Blown Saves Record(SATIRE)

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With his Major League leading eighth blown save, Philadelphia Phillies closer Brad Lidge is ever closer to fulfilling his boyhood dream of being in the record books for most blown saves in a single season.

“When I was a young boy, I always dreamed of breaking records in baseball,” said Lidge after literally throwing away a game with the Atlanta Braves. “But there was always one that was near to my heart, the holy grail. The single season blown saves record.”

The current record for blown saves in a season is fourteen, held by four different players. The last pitcher to do it was the Minnesota Twins’ Ron Davis in 1984.

Lidge was visibly choked up when talking about the record.

“That was a magical year, 1984,” said Lidge wistfully. “It takes a special kind of situation. You can’t just suck. You have to suck in a special way.

“Kind of like I do this year.”

Lidge was in danger of saving the Braves game yesterday. With his Phillies leading 3-2 in the bottom of the ninth, it started off well enough for Lidge with Braves OF Garret Anderson singling to right, just under the glove of Gold Glove second baseman Chase Utley.

“That was a break right there,” said Lidge.

Then Matt Diaz laid down a bunt just to the right of Lidge. He had time to throw to second and start the double play.

“That went through my mind as I reached for the ball,” said Lidge. “But then I thought, the record!

“I bobbled the ball and threw it into right field. I had no choice, really.”

With that, Anderson scored. Lidge, charged with two errors on the same play, knew his work was not done yet. He then walked the next two batters, one intentionally, then struck out Ryan Church.

“It was more dramatic that way,” he said.

Then, to the surprise of no one, Lidge left a slider over the plate that Omar Infante hit into left field for the win.

More importantly for Lidge, the blown save.

“I really think I can do it if I get the opportunities,” said Lidge. “I’m glad Kim (Myers) hit (her husband and injured Phillies pitcher) Brett (Myers) in the eye like I asked her to. That should buy me a couple extra chances.”

When told that Kim denied that and that the Myers claimed that Brett fell out of his car, Lidge chuckled and said, “Sure, ok, whatever.”

“Six more to go. Wow, I can’t believe I am actually this close to history.”

Written by CrawleyAndWatts

August 16, 2009 at 5:22 pm

2 Responses

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  1. all fake eagles fan who cant watch Vick in an Eagles jersey
    use this to determine the name y on the back of your new teams jersey
    you are welcome


    August 18, 2009 at 11:42 am

  2. Lidge stepped into a warm pile of I suck and has yet to wipe it off his cleats.
    I hope he gets it off before it tracks all over the clubhouse


    August 18, 2009 at 11:44 am

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