Week 2 NFL Picks Against The Spread (With a Bonus College Pick)
What a terrible start for the year. I was 7-8-1 last week versus the number (thank you, Brandon Stokely. Jerk.).
On the plus side, I did hit on both the STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) and UPSET SPECIAL of the week.
Again, picks are for recreational purposes only. If you are trying to make money off my “expertise,” you are a moron. Home team in CAPS.
New Orleans (pick em) at PHILADELPHIA: Never again. Never again will I pick against my Eagles. I learned my lesson last week. So just know coming in that every week I will be picking the Eagles-what? Kevin Kolb is starting? Sigh. OK, let’s talk this out then.
NO was 2-6 on the road last year straight up, and this is a straight up game. Their two wins were over Kansas City and Detroit, who combined for 30 losses last year. The offense is prolific, but so is the Eagles defense. The Saints defense is awful, and the Eagles still have Brian Westbrook.
Hmmm. Now that I talk it out, Kevin Kolb doesn’t scare me as much as I thought here. As long as they keep the Saints below 20 points, Eagles win big. Take the Birds.
Oakland (+3) at KANSAS CITY: Remember when KC was the toughest place to win on the road? Yeah, not so much anymore. This is a team that lost by ten to Cincinnati and gave up 54 (yes, FIDDY FO) points to Buffalo last year, both at home. I like the Raiders a lot here, take them plus the three.
Houston (+6.5) at TENNESSEE: Houston is terrible. I still cannot believe anybody picked them to go to the Super Bowl. The 6.5 is going to get pounded, Tennessee wins big here, take them and the points.
New England (-3.5) at NY JETS: As an Eagles fan, I am having flashbacks to the Buddy Ryan era watching his son in New York. I love his attitude. I love how he has, like his father did with Dallas, decided to pick on the division bully. Also, the Pats did not look great last week in a game they should have dominated. Take the Jets and the points in the UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK.
Cincinnati (+9) at GREEN BAY: Whoo, that’s a big number. Chad Johnson (I’m not calling him the other name. It was cool when it wasn’t actually his name. Now it’s just dumb.) said this week that he would do the Lambeau Leap if he scores a TD. He’ll do it twice. Take the Bengals and the points.
P.S. Cincy, you burn me again this week, and you are DEAD to me. Do you hear me? DEAD.
Minnesota (-9.5) at DETROIT: Eighteen losses and counting. Detroit is really, really bad. But here’s something I bet you didn’t know: they were 7-9 versus the number last year. Against Minnesota, they covered twice. They do it again here. They might even win. Or they might give up three bills to Adrian Peterson. Either way, take the Lions and the points.
Carolina (+6) at ATLANTA: Carolina got worked like a Malaysian slave child last week. (You can use, that, it’s ok.) Atlanta covers the six with ease. AJ Feeley, come on down.
St. Louis (+9.5) at WASHINGTON: Remember when the Rams were “The Greatest Show On Turf?” Remember when Marc Bulger was a viable fantasy quarterback? Remember when Steven Jackson went number one in a lot of fantasy leagues? Sad. Oh, yeah, remember that the Redskins still have Jason Campbell? We will see Colt Brennan this week. Take the Rams and the points.
Arizona (+3) at JACKSONVILLE: I can admit when I’m wrong. Jacksonville looked a lot better last week than I thought they would. Arizona, on the other hand, didn’t. To quote their old coach, “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE.” Take the Jags, give the three.
Seattle (+1.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: This will be a great game. Two teams that are better than you think will play down to the last minute. I like Seattle here with the points.
Tampa Bay (+5) at BUFFALO: Man, did Tampa stink it up last week or what? The Bills, on the other hand, should have beaten New England. Five is a lot here, but since I can’t name more than three guys on the Bucs, I’ll give the five and take the Bills, with a queasy feeling in my stomach.
Cleveland (+3) at DENVER: Stinker of the week. Denver, somehow, goes to 2-0 here. I wonder when Josh McDaniels’ deal with the devil expires. Take Denver and give the three.
Baltimore (+3) at SAN DIEGO: This is a possible AFC Championship preview. (Calm down, Steeler fans, I said possible, not likely). I really like San Diego a lot. I think they could go to the Super Bowl. The three points is a gift. If not for the next game, I might be locking this one up. Give the three, take the Chargers. They win bigger than you think.
NY Giants (+2.5) at DALLAS: Really? Dallas is favored here? The Giants were 3-1 against the number as underdogs last year. Yes, the one loss was at Dallas, but man, the Giants are the best team in the NFC. I’m not drinking that Cowboys Kool-aid, sorry. Giants win here, STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) of the week.
Pittsburgh (-3) at CHICAGO: Jay Cutler sucks. Period. Chicago got robbed like a Prada store with Winona Ryder in it. Steelers win, Steeler style, like 10-6, with two field goals and two safeties. Give the three.
Indianapolis (-3) at MIAMI: Miami is as close to a must win here as you can be in week 2. They will definitely cover the three, so take them and the points.
COLLEGE SPECIAL OF THE WEEK:
Texas Tech (+17.5) at TEXAS: The Red Raiders cost Texas dearly last year with their upset in Lubbock. The Longhorns and Colt McCoy get revenge here, Texas wins HUGE, three touchdowns huge.