The Most Important Position In Professional Sports: Fan

I was talking about the Phillies chances in the World Series last week at work. I told a co-worker, “I think we have a good chance of sweeping the Yankees.” (Obviously, that was wrong, but that isn’t the point here.) His reply was, “We? What position do you play?”

“I play fan,” I said.

I used to think the same way. People who say “we” when talking about their sports teams are a little too attached. It is not “we.” We are not a part of the team.

Or are we?

I now say that fan is the most important position in professional sports. I am not naive enough to say that we directly pay the players’ salaries. But without us, how much do you think FOX would pay Major League Baseball to for national television rights?

If we don’t watch, how much do you think Bud Light would be paying FOX for commercial time? If we don’t watch, how much do you think Citizens Bank would have paid for naming rights for the Phillies’ new stadium?

If we don’t watch, Alex Rodriguez is selling ladies shoes at Neiman Marcus.

If we don’t watch, Chase Utley is selling cars.

If we don’t watch, Cole Hamels is a barista at Starbucks. Maybe he should be anyway.

You think teams don’t listen to the fans? They do. Oh, don’t misunderstand, Andy Reid is not listening to Vinny from Palmyra (“Yo, dat McNabb is a bum, youse need to sign Tom Brady!”), but he knows that the fans want to win. Thus, he does what he thinks is best to achieve that goal. We may not always agree with his method, but he is trying.

We all want to win. Owners know this. They know we will buy less merchandise, and, in some cities, stop coming to games if they don’t win. (Hello, Jacksonville and Cincinnati.) The fans will hit you in the pocketbook if you continue to put an inferior product out.

Are you listening, Dan Snyder? Probably not. But he is, I’m sure, aware of the discontent of his fans, because they are not coming to the games, which is costing him money. We know he is aware because he banned signs at FedEx Field, because, he says, they mar the experience of other fans.

Sure, Danno, not because of what they will say, but because they negatively influence the fan experience.

Teams fight all season for home field advantage. Why? Because we are there. We push them. We encourage them. We give them that extra burst to make that last  pitch, or shot, or save, or pass.

The emotional outpouring after the Phillies World Series win last year was because of the fans’ long suffering drought. Player after player, coach after coach, executive after executive thanked the fans. Why?

Because without us, there is no game.

Not quarterback. Not goaltender. Not pitcher. Not point guard.

Fan.

Fan is the most important position in professional sports.

We win and lose, live and die with our teams. Yes, the players and coaches and owners care. But long after they are all gone, we will still be here.

We are the fans.

 

Reiview of Citizens Bank Park

Citizens Bank Park

            Citizens Bank Park is the home of the 2008 World Champion Philadelphia Phillies. Built near the former spot of the not at all missed Veterans Stadium, it is part of the massive Philadelphia Sports Complex, which includes Lincoln Financial Field, home of the NFL’s Eagles, and the Wachovia Center, home of the NHL’s Flyers and some minor league basketball team.

 

The last of the three to be built, The Bank is a vast improvement over the Vet.

 

Here is the FANFARE rating for CITIZENS BANK PARK:

 

Food & Beverage: 5 (out of 5)

 

It is hard to find fault with the selection here at Citizens Bank Park. You have all your ballpark classics, along with standard Philly classics like hoagies, cheesesteaks (Tony Luke’s? One word: overrated. Plenty of other choices though.), and water ice, which is like the best Italian Ice you’ve ever had, only better. They offer veggie burgers and Vegan hot dogs. There is a lot of variety to be had in Ashburn Alley, named for Hall of Famer Richie Ashburn. Running behind the outfield, you’ll find there the aforementioned Tony Luke’s, Planet Hoagie, Campo’s (more cheesesteaks), Alley Grill (any type of grilled sandwich you can imagine, including a vegetarian black bean burger) and Bull’s BBQ. If you’ve been to Baltimore, Bull’s is almost as good as Boog’s. Almost. But Bull’s variety is better.

 

There is a surprisingly good sit down restaurant in left field called Harry the K’s, named for the late, great Harry Kalas. Terrific selections include pork tacos, Basil Fettuccine and Steak Spring Rolls. Beyond that it is standard American fare. There are two levels, full restaurant downstairs, full service bar upstairs.

 

Do not, under any circumstances, leave the park without getting an order of Crab Fries from the mini Chickie’s and Pete’s. You will regret it for the rest of your life. Unless you go to the big Chickie’s and Pete’s after the game. More on that later.

 

The beer selection is decent, not great, but well priced, around seven bucks for 21 ounces.

 

One warning: Arrive early, and eat early, or you might be in line for the whole game. There are a lot of people here every night.

 

 

 

Atmosphere: 4

 

In a word, electric. As mentioned above, this place is packed to the gills every single night. The view below is from the standing room only section on the third level.

  

The rally towels are crazy in person; TV does not do them justice. The Bank gets an extra point here for being the site of a final game of a winning championship. The stadium is not old enough to have a deep history yet, though Phillies fans would argue that the 2008 World Title was pretty historical, and then push you down a flight of stairs for disagreeing.

 

Neighborhood: 1

 

Here’s the thing. There really is no neighborhood, per se. The stadium is part of the Philadelphia Sports Complex as mentioned above, which consists of three full sized sporting venues (four, if you count the Wachovia Spectrum, scheduled to be closed in October, 2009) and parking for each. There is a bar attached to the stadium called McFadden’s, which is just your run of the mill Irish pub. They do have live bands play before and after home games, which is cool if you like that sort of thing. The closest neighborhood bar, Chickie’s and Pete’s is a 20-30 minute walk, which is tough to do after a Phillies game. But it might be worth it. More on that later, but not close enough to really be considered part of the stadium’s neighborhood. Special mention to the Chickie’s and Pete’s Taxi Crab, which will drop you off before and pick you up after games if you valet park with them for ten bucks.

 

 

 Fans: 5

 

The fans are loud and rowdy, but actually much better behaved than they were at the Vet. Of course, I was rooting for the Phillies, so no one bothered me. I have seen fans of the opposing teams hassled a little here; however, there was nothing over the top. Again, though, I am a Phillies fan, so over the top might be a matter of perspective. Say what you will about us, we know the game, and we show up, win or lose. Oh, there’s heckling and booing too. Phillies fans are a passionate bunch. There was even a guy with his face painted. In the third deck. At a BASEBALL game. Who paints their face for a baseball game?

 

And contrary to legend, there is no jail in the stadium. That was at The Vet.

 

 

Access: 5

 

This stadium is right off I-95, the main interstate on the East Coast. It is easy to find. There is more parking than you will know what to do with, and it is only $12. You are not allowed to tailgate in The Bank’s lots, which I thought was a silly thing to even have to say (who tailgates at baseball games?) until I saw people tailgating in Lincoln Financial Field’s lot across the street. Oh, yeah, Philly fans tailgate at Bingo, I forgot. Like with most of the new ballparks, bathrooms are plentiful, with family changing rooms in select locations. They were surprisingly clean.

 

Return on Investment: 4

 

An excellent stadium, as evidenced by the fact that 45,000 or so people come to it every night. The food is a hair overpriced, but not for a ballpark. They will sell standing room only tickets at a discount three hours before game time if they are available. If you need to sit down, find a friend who doesn’t need their tickets, or you will be paying a broker a lot of money. They sell out virtually every game.

 

 

Extra Points: 5

 

 

 

Chickie’s and Pete’s (www.chickiesandpetes.com) gives this the full 5 points here. Not really close enough to walk (and not really feasible, either, you WILL be towed if you park here and go to the game, and The Bank’s lots close about one hour after the game), it really can’t be included in the neighborhood. (Its website claims to be walking distance. It’s not. To quote the comedian Steven Wright, “Everything is within walking distance if you have the time.”) But it is absolutely part of the whole picture. As mentioned above, you can valet park your car here for $10. The Taxi Crab will drive you to the stadium, then pick you up and bring you back after. The Crab Fries must be eaten to be believed. If you like seafood, this is the spot. If you like bar food, this is the spot. If you like giant TV screens almost one and a half stories tall, this is the spot. It was rated “Best Sports Bar on the East Coast” by ESPN, and it lives up to it. They have “Beer Towers,” a three foot (or so) tall container of beer with a tap on it. It holds 120 ounces for $25 (domestic) or $30 (imported). It is ESPNZone without all the annoying glitz. It is your neighborhood bar with lots of makeup on, looking all hot at the club on a Friday night. You have to come here. Forget the stadium. Just come here.

 

 

 

FANFARE Total: 29 (out of 35)

 

The lack of a neighborhood notwithstanding, Citizens Bank Park is an overall great place to see a game. Is it worth a special trip to Philadelphia just for that? I wouldn’t go that far. But if you are in town, it is a must stop. Forget the Liberty Bell, come to The Bank. And Chickie’s and Pete’s.

 

 

For more stadium reviews and information on the FANFARE rating system, go to www.stadiumjourney.com.

Week Four NFL Picks Against The Spread plus Two College Picks

No coin flip picks this week.

The good news is that I was 9-7 versus the spread in the NFL last week and 1-0 in college. The bad news is I missed my first STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) and UPSET SPECIAL. From now on, maybe I’ll just stick to one SCLPL per week, as I got cocky with the Steelers, who are one more loss away from being dead to me.

The coin flip option is still available.

As usual, the following picks are for recreational purposes only. Don’t gamble on my advice. I’m just an idiot with a computer. Home team in CAPS:

Oakland(+9) at HOUSTON: There will be a lot of death threats this week. We will start with Houston, who should have pounded Jacksonville last week. Take the Texans and give the points.

Houston, if you don’t cover, you are DEAD to me.

Tennessee (-3) at JACKSONVILLE: I don’t like Jacksonville. I don’t like the team. I don’t like the coach. I don’t like the city. I don’t like the fact that they lead the league in guys with hyphenated last names. Titans get their first win of the season and cover the three. STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(TM).

Baltimore (+2) at NEW ENGLAND: So I spent the last week in Baltimore trying not to get shot in broad daylight, and everybody thinks the Ravens are like the second coming of the 72 Dolphins. Look, the Ravens are a fine club. They are probably going to win 11 or 12 games. This will not be one of them. Patriots giving only two points at home? That’s like stealing. Take the Pats, give the two, and despite an earlier promise that I would stick to one per week, I am making this one also a STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm).

Ravens winning in Foxboro. Pssh.

Cincinnati (-6) at CLEVELAND: Cleveland is going to Derek Anderson at QB. I don’t care if they start the ghost of Joe Montana (insert laugh track here), as long as Eric Mangini is coaching there, I will NEVER pick the Browns to win anything, except the worst team ever championship. Take the Bengals and give the six. Whoa, did I just say take the Bengals minus six? Wow. The Browns must really suck.

NY Giants (-8.5) at KANSAS CITY: The Giants are the quietest 3-0 team ever. The Jets are getting all the press in New York, while they Giants just go out and pound people every week. Kansas City is horrible, yes, but great teams pound horrible teams, and that is what the Giants will do here. Take the Giants, give the points, repeat until January.

Detroit (+10) at CHICAGO: I cannot, cannot pick the Bears. I’m sorry, Jay Cutler just makes me nauseous. I can’t do it. No logic, just don’t like the guy. Take the Lions plus ten.

Tampa Bay (+7.5) at WASHINGTON: Jim Zorn. Dead man walking. Take the Bucs plus the points, UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK.

Seattle (+10) at INDIANAPOLIS: Seneca Wallace, you are not quite dead to me, but that’s only because I remember how great you were at Iowa State. Having said that, you have no shot this week. None. Indianapolis wins and covers the ten.

NY Jets (-7) at NEW ORLEANS: In a battle of unexpected 3-0 teams, the Saints are somehow favored by a touchdown. Really? Jets cover the seven. They might even win.

Buffalo (+1.5) at MIAMI: Everybody who had the Dolphins at 0-3, raise your hand. Liars. Miami gets it done at home this week, take them minus the points.

Miami, last chance. You lose this week and you are DEAD to me.

St. Louis (+9.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: The 49ers would be 3-0 if they hadn’t gotten Farved last week. They played well enough on the road to beat a very good Minnesota team. I shudder to think what Mike Singletary did to them this week. They will take it out on the Rams, who seriously may not win a game this year. Niners win big, take them, give the points.

Dallas (-3) at DENVER: No love for the 3-0 Broncos? They are an inexplicable home underdog to the Cowboys here. Why is everyone so in love with Dallas? I don’t get it. I think that Denver, somehow, goes to 4-0 here, but even if they don’t, they will cover the three, take them plus the points.

San Diego (+6) at PITTSBURGH: Man, I don’t like this one. Not one bit. I think the Steelers win a close one, even without Willie Parker. Like a Republican voting for John McCain, hold your nose and take San Diego plus the points.

Green Bay (+3.5) at MINNESOTA: Despite what ESPN will tell you, there is really not that much juice for this game. Now, Farve at Green Bay? That will be Must See TV. This is just a big divisional game. Vikings win as AP goes for 250 and three touchdowns, take Minnesota minus the points.

COLLEGE DOUBLE DIP:

Florida State (-3.5) at BOSTON COLLEGE: FSU’s wild inconsistency will pay off this week. After getting manhandled physically at home by a South Florida team that is better than people think, FSU bounces back with a teasing beatdown of Boston College. Then they will revert to the mid-major they have become again the next time that they play. Take FSU minus the points.

Virginia Tech (-13.5) at DUKE: It’s funny, but if I’m Virginia Tech, I take being favored by only 13.5 at Duke as an insult. I think Frank Beamer’s boys will too. VT beats Duke like they stole something, take them minus the points.

LAST WEEK: 9-7 NFL, including 1-1 STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm), 0-1 UPSET SPECIAL. College, 1-0.

OVERALL:

NFL 24-23-1.

STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm): 3-1

UPSET SPECIAL: 2-1

COLLEGE: 1-1

Week Three NFL Picks Against the Spread, Plus One College Pick

So I’m thinking I may just start flipping a coin.

I mean, after an 8-8 week (plus missing on the college pick), it can’t be any worse, right?

Well, I did hit on both the UPSET SPECIAL and STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) again, so I’m still perfect, 4-0 on the season there. Maybe I’ll save the coin for next week if things don’t improve.

As usual, you are an idiot if you gamble with my picks. They are for recreational purposes only. Home team in CAPS:

Kansas City (+9) at PHILADELPHIA: I’m telling you right now, if the Eagles don’t beat Kansas City by three touchdowns, there will be riots in the streets. I don’t care who is starting at quarterback, I don’t care if Brian Westbrook doesn’t play. The Chiefs are an awful football team. I would take the University of Texas minus nine over Kansas City on the road. Eagles win big, STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm).

Tennessee (+2.5) at NY JETS: Rex Ryan gave a game ball to Fireman Ed (that one dude who sits on that other dude’s shoulders and leads the “J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS” chants) last week on behalf of the fans. It will be insane in the Meadowlands Sunday. Tennessee absolutely, positively HAS to win this game. They won’t. Buddy’s boy’s boys go to 3-0, take the Jets, give the points.

Jacksonville (+3.5) at HOUSTON: OK, Houston, which is it? Are you the team that beat Tennessee or the team that got worked by the Jets? What’s that you say? You’re playing Jacksonville this week so it doesn’t matter? Oh, alright, cool, we’ll check back next week, Houston beats J-ville by a WHOLE lot, give the points.

Cleveland (+13) at BALTIMORE: Only Kansas City prevents the Browns from being the worst team in the AFC. For the second time in three weeks, I’m gonna say something I rarely say: take the Ravens and give the THIRTEEN. Wow, that is a lot of points. Fortunately for me, Eric Mangini coaches the Browns, and he’s an idiot.

NY Giants (-6.5) at TAMPA BAY: Byron Leftwich. Cadillac Williams. Kellen Winslow Jr. OK, there, now I can name three guys on the Bucs. They still suck. Take the Giants, give the points.

Washington (-6.5) at DETROIT: Detroit has to beat somebody at some point, don’t they? Yeah, and it may even be this week. Take the Lions plus the points.

Green Bay (-6.5) at ST LOUIS: Look, don’t get me wrong here, the Rams are awful. AWFUL. But why is everybody so in love with the Packers now? They were 6-10 last year. I don’t get it. Take the Rams plus the points.

San Francisco (+6.5) at MINNESOTA: San Francisco is for real. Will they beat Minnesota in a battle of the NFC’s two best running backs so far? Well, let’s not go crazy here. But they will cover the nigh-touchdown spread, take the Niners and the points.

Atlanta (+4) at NEW ENGLAND: The Pats need to get it in gear. Losing to Atlanta at home will not sit well with Lord Vader, er, I mean Bill Belichick. Pats win and cover the four.

Chicago (-1.5) at SEATTLE: Really? The Bears? Jay Cutler? Really? Seattle, with Seneca Wallace at QB, beats the Bears. UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK.

New Orleans (-6) at BUFFALO: It is getting harder and harder to pick against The Greatest Show On Turf: Part Two, This Time, It’s Personal. But I am a sucker for home underdogs getting six or more. Grit your teeth and take the Bills to cover in a shootout.

 Miami (+6) at SAN DIEGO: Two teams that are real close to being dead to me square off here. Miami needs this game badly. So do the Chargers. I believe the Chargers win and cover. I think. Yeah, take the Chargers. I think.

Pittsburgh (-4) at CINNCINNATI: So I’m listening to the NFL radio channel today, and everybody and their mom is picking the Bengals to not only cover, but beat the defending world champs. Uh, what? Mike Tomlin is 8-1 all time in the regular season the week after a loss. Those eight wins are by an average of nearly two touchdowns, and include two shutouts. This is what we call a “trend.” Take the Steelers to lay the smackdown on the Bengals, give the four. In fact, make it a bonus second STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm).

Denver (-1.5) at OAKLAND: The Raiders made me sweat it out against Kansas City last week. Is it possible that Josh McDaniel goes to 3-0? It sure is. It’s not LIKELY, but it’s possible. Equally unbelieveable, the Ray-dizz go to 2-1, take them plus the points.

Indianapolis (+2.5) at ARIZONA: Uh, is that a misprint? Peyton Manning is getting points? Against ARIZONA? Colts win big, people, stop with this Arizona nonsense, come on. Get a grip.

Carolina (+9) at DALLAS: The day I give nine points with the Cowboys is the day I wear a Cowboys Jersey to Lincoln Financial Field. Not happening. Plus, Carolina is gonna win at least one game this year, why not here? Take the Panthers plus the nine.

COLLEGE SPECIAL:

Washington State (+45) at USC: Washington State is a bad team. They have lost 16 of their last 19. They haven’t beaten USC since 2002. They won’t beat them this week either, but 45 points is just a little ridiculous, don’t you think? Me too. Take the Cougars to lose by SIX TOUCHDOWNS and still cover. That’s just silly.

LAST WEEK: 8-8 NFL, including 1-0 STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm), 1-0 UPSET SPECIAL. College, 0-1.

OVERALL:

NFL 15-16-1.

STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm): 2-0

UPSET SPECIAL: 2-0

COLLEGE: 0-1

Week 2 NFL Picks Against The Spread (With a Bonus College Pick)

Pew.

What a terrible start for the year. I was 7-8-1 last week versus the number (thank you, Brandon Stokely. Jerk.).

On the plus side, I did hit on both the STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) and UPSET SPECIAL of the week.

Again, picks are for recreational purposes only. If you are trying to make money off my “expertise,” you are a moron. Home team in CAPS.

New Orleans (pick em) at PHILADELPHIA: Never again. Never again will I pick against my Eagles. I learned my lesson last week. So just know coming in that every week I will be picking the Eagles-what? Kevin Kolb is starting? Sigh. OK, let’s talk this out then.

NO was 2-6 on the road last year straight up, and this is a straight up game. Their two wins were over Kansas City and Detroit, who combined for 30 losses last year. The offense is prolific, but so is the Eagles defense. The Saints defense is awful, and the Eagles still have Brian Westbrook.

Hmmm. Now that I talk it out, Kevin Kolb doesn’t scare me as much as I thought here. As long as they keep the Saints below 20 points, Eagles win big. Take the Birds.

Oakland (+3) at KANSAS CITY: Remember when KC was the toughest place to win on the road? Yeah, not so much anymore. This is a team that lost by ten to Cincinnati and gave up 54 (yes, FIDDY FO) points to Buffalo last year, both at home. I like the Raiders a lot here, take them plus the three.

Houston (+6.5) at TENNESSEE: Houston is terrible. I still cannot believe anybody picked them to go to the Super Bowl. The 6.5 is going to get pounded, Tennessee wins big here, take them and the points.

New England (-3.5) at NY JETS: As an Eagles fan, I am having flashbacks to the Buddy Ryan era watching his son in New York. I love his attitude. I love how he has, like his father did with Dallas, decided to pick on the division bully. Also, the Pats did not look great last week in a game they should have dominated. Take the Jets and the points in the UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK.

Cincinnati (+9) at GREEN BAY: Whoo, that’s a big number. Chad Johnson (I’m not calling him the other name. It was cool when it wasn’t actually his name. Now it’s just dumb.) said this week that he would do the Lambeau Leap if he scores a TD. He’ll do it twice. Take the Bengals and the points.

P.S. Cincy, you burn me again this week, and you are DEAD to me. Do you hear me? DEAD.

Minnesota (-9.5) at DETROIT: Eighteen losses and counting. Detroit is really, really bad. But here’s something I bet you didn’t know: they were 7-9 versus the number last year. Against Minnesota, they covered twice. They do it again here. They might even win. Or they might give up three bills to Adrian Peterson. Either way, take the Lions and the points.

Carolina (+6) at ATLANTA: Carolina got worked like a Malaysian slave child last week. (You can use, that, it’s ok.) Atlanta covers the six with ease. AJ Feeley, come on down.

St. Louis (+9.5) at WASHINGTON: Remember when the Rams were “The Greatest Show On Turf?” Remember when Marc Bulger was a viable fantasy quarterback? Remember when Steven Jackson went number one in a lot of fantasy leagues? Sad. Oh, yeah, remember that the Redskins still have Jason Campbell? We will see Colt Brennan this week. Take the Rams and the points.

Arizona (+3) at JACKSONVILLE: I can admit when I’m wrong. Jacksonville looked a lot better last week than I thought they would. Arizona, on the other hand, didn’t. To quote their old coach, “THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE.” Take the Jags, give the three.

Seattle (+1.5) at SAN FRANCISCO: This will be a great game. Two teams that are better than you think will play down to the last minute. I like Seattle here with the points.

Tampa Bay (+5) at BUFFALO: Man, did Tampa stink it up last week or what? The Bills, on the other hand, should have beaten New England. Five is a lot here, but since I can’t name more than three guys on the Bucs, I’ll give the five and take the Bills, with a queasy feeling in my stomach.

Cleveland (+3) at DENVER: Stinker of the week. Denver, somehow, goes to 2-0 here. I wonder when Josh McDaniels’ deal with the devil expires. Take Denver and give the three.

Baltimore (+3) at SAN DIEGO: This is a possible AFC Championship preview. (Calm down, Steeler fans, I said possible, not likely). I really like San Diego a lot. I think they could go to the Super Bowl. The three points is a gift. If not for the next game, I might be locking this one up. Give the three, take the Chargers. They win bigger than you think.

NY Giants (+2.5) at DALLAS: Really? Dallas is favored here? The Giants were 3-1 against the number as underdogs last year. Yes, the one loss was at Dallas, but man, the Giants are the best team in the NFC. I’m not drinking that Cowboys Kool-aid, sorry. Giants win here, STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) of the week.

Pittsburgh (-3) at CHICAGO: Jay Cutler sucks. Period. Chicago got robbed like a Prada store with Winona Ryder in it. Steelers win, Steeler style, like 10-6, with two field goals and two safeties. Give the three.

Indianapolis (-3) at MIAMI: Miami is as close to a must win here as you can be in week 2. They will definitely cover the three, so take them and the points.

COLLEGE SPECIAL OF THE WEEK:

Texas Tech (+17.5) at TEXAS: The Red Raiders cost Texas dearly last year with their upset in Lubbock. The Longhorns and Colt McCoy get revenge here, Texas wins HUGE, three touchdowns huge.

2009 Fearless NFL Predictions and Week One Picks Against The Spread

Finally.

The NFL is back!

Here are some predictions for the year. All picks are for recreational purposes only:

NFC East champ: Giants (Number one seed)

NFC North champ: Vikings (Number two seed)

NFC South champ: Saints

NFC West champ: Seattle

NFC Wild Cards: Eagles and Packers

NFC Champ: Eagles over Giants

AFC East champ: Patriots (Number two seed)

AFC North champ: Steelers (Number one seed)

AFC South champ: Colts

AFC West champ: Chargers

AFC Wild Cards: Dolphins and Ravens

AFC Champ: Steelers over Ravens

Super Bowl Champ: Eagles over Steelers

MVP and Comeback Player of the Year: Tom Brady

Offensive ROY: Knowshon Moreno

Defensive ROY: Brian Orakpo

Not that it will happen, but the team with the best chance to go undefeated: Steelers

Not that it will happen, but the team with the best chance to go winless: Chiefs

Team that is better than you think: Raiders

Team that is not as good as you think: Colts

Team that is exactly as bad as you think: Chiefs

Best team to miss the playoffs: Bears

Worst team to make the playoffs: Saints

Over/Under on:

Week Terrell Owens goes off on Trent Edwards: Four

Week Eagles fans call for Andy Reid to get fired and Donovan McNabb to get cut: Two

Week Jim Zorn, Wade Phillips or gets the dreaded “vote of confidence:” Eight

Week Brian Westbrook gets hurt: Two

Week Vikings fans regret having Brett Favre because he just threw three of those “God-why-did-he-throw-that, head-in-your-hands” interceptions: Six

Week Norv Turner has that deer in the headlights look: one

Week the Cowboys lose a game because of their scoreboard: Seven

Week I stop doing these picks because I’m lazy: Five

This week’s games (Home team in CAPS):

Tennessee (+6) at PITTSBURGH: The Steelers are going to win a lot of games this year. None will be by a lot. Except this one. Opening night, Super Bowl presentation, crowd in a frenzy. Steelers win big here, take them and give the six.

Philadelphia (-1) at CAROLINA: Somebody explain to me how the Eagles are favored here. The offensive line has not played together yet, we don’t know how the defense is gonna look, and Jonathan Stewart is going to play for Carolina. The Birds are notoriously slow starters under Reid, he is 4-6 in his career on opening day. This will be a good year, but not a good day. Take the Panthers and the point at home.

Miami (+4) at ATLANTA: A battle of two teams that are better than you think, unlike the Chiefs, who are who we thought they were. I like Atlanta to win a close game. Take the Fins and the points though.

Kansas City (+13) at BALTIMORE: I normally stay away from double digit favorites in the NFL. But Baltmore is awfully good, and the University of Florida would beat KC three times out of ten. The Chiefs won’t go winless, but it will be close, and they will get blown out a lot, including this week. Take the Ravens and give the thirteen. I can promise that you won’t be hearing ”give the thirteen” a lot from me this season.

Denver (+4) at CINCINNATI: I don’t like this game. These are two bad teams. Cincinnati is slightly less bad and is at home. The key will be the Cincy running game, if anybody cares, and if you do, you need counseling. Take the Bengals and give the four, you won’t be hearing THAT a lot this year, either.

Minnesota (-4) at CLEVELAND: I hate Eric Mangini. The Browns have no chance of keeping Adrian Peterson under 150 yards. Farve will only throw two picks. THIS IS THE STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm) OF THE WEEK. Take the Vikings minus four in a blowout.

NY Jets (+5) at HOUSTON: Houston, somehow, has become a sexy dark horse Super Bowl pick this year, kind of like the Vikings last year. And we know how well that worked out for Minnesota. Take the Jets and the five and laugh all the way to the bank. Quick, before somebody sees you.

Jacksonville (+7) at INDIANAPOLIS: I hate Peyton Manning. However, the difference between him and Eric Mangini is that Manning is actually good at what he does. Jack Del Rio may not make it through the entire season in Jacksonville. Take the Colts, give the seven.

Detroit (+13) at NEW ORLEANS: Detroit has lost a staggering 17 games in a row. I smell the UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK(tm). But not here. Take the Saints, they win big, give the points.

San Francisco (+6.5) at ARIZONA: Ah, here it is, I knew I smelled the UPSET SPE-never mind. Arizona? Your fairy godmother called, she wants her glass slipper back. Take the Niners and the points.

Dallas (-6) at TAMPA BAY: Ah, the home underdog. The six is tempting. If it was seven, I would take it in a heart beat. Then again, I’m not sure I can name three guys on Tampa’s team. Is Doug Williams still there? Take the Cowboys minus six. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Washington (+6) at NY GIANTS: The Redskins have lost four of the last five in the Meadowlands by an average of almost 17 points. This is what we call in the business the “ka-ching trend(tm).” The Giants are the best team in the NFC. Take the Giants, give the six, and be glad you are only giving six.  

St. Louis (+8.5) at SEATTLE: The Jim Mora era will be ushered in with a close win over an awful Rams team. The 8.5 is too big a number, take the Rams and the points.

Chicago (+3.5) at GREEN BAY: This just in: Aaron Rodgers is really good. Packers win an instant classic by a field goal. Don’t get caught by the half point, take the Bears and the points.

Buffalo (+10.5) at NEW ENGLAND: The Patriots are going to struggle this year. Buffalo will play well until TO goes off on somebody. I like Buff-what? Tom Brady is back? And Marshawn Lynch is not playing? Oh, never mind, take the Pats at home and give the points.

San Diego (-9.5) at OAKLAND: Eagles fans everywhere owe the Silver and Black a debt of gratitude for helping put them in the playoffs last year. I’m gonna be honest, the spread here annoys me, because I love nothing better that the double digit home dog. Still, Chargers win, but Raiders cover, take the Raiders and the points.

It’s gonna be a great year. LET’S GIT IT ON!

Four Teams That Can Derail The Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl Train

Is this his year? Yup.

I am already on record predicting the Eagles to win Super Bowl XLIV. Since that prediction, the Eagles have lost Jim Johnson, Stewart Bradley and Cornelius Ingram. They have added Michael Vick, and may be starting a rookie at free safety.

A rookie may be replacing Brian Dawkins.

So, naturally, I will not be cutting them an inch of slack. I will not be changing my prediction. Super Bowl or bust.

SI’s Don Banks disagrees. He thinks the Eagles will miss the playoffs. But he is a mook, who cares what he thinks?

I believe that the Eagles are a top five team. Here, in order, are the four teams I believe pose the greatest threat to the Eagles Super Bowl chances.

1. New York Giants

The Giants are not the best team in the NFL. But they may be the best team in the NFC, and they are in the same division as the Eagles, making them the biggest threat.

They have a great defense, a great running game and a Manning at quarterback. (Yeah, I know its the wrong Manning, so what?) They have championship experience. They know how to win. They will not have the Plaxico Burress issue distracting them this season.

In fact, I think that it is highly likely that they will win the division with the Eagles getting in as a wild card.

But the Giants have not beaten the Eagles in the playoffs since Bill Clinton was in office. The Eagles are 2-0 versus the Giants in the playoffs, having beaten them at the Linc in 2006 and in the Meadowlands last year. Since 2001, including the playoffs, the Eagles are 12-6 versus the Giants.

They also lost their defensive coordinator. All Pro DE Osi Umenyiora recently walked out of camp for a day because he felt that new defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan was disrespecting him. How long until Tom Coughlin goes off on somebody for showing up five minutes early for a meeting instead of ten minutes early?

The Giants are a great team. They may have a better regular season than the Eagles. But the Eagles will beat them in the playoffs. Again.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers

The defending champs are still the best team in football. They return intact, plus get Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall for the entire season. They should avoid the slow start they had last year. This is a ridiculously good football team.

They are well coached. They are battle tested, having won two of the last four Super Bowls. They have the most clutch quarterback in football not named Tom Brady, and an otherworldly great defense.

But…

For some reason, the Eagles own them. The Birds are 46-27-3 all time versus the Steelers. They even won the only postseason meeting between the two. (OK, it was in 1947. I’m just sayin’.) They are 2-1 versus the Steelers since 2000.

I’m not saying the Eagles are better. I’m saying the Eagles can beat them. If they meet in Super Bowl XLIV, they will.

3. New England Patriots

He’s baaaaaaack.

The most analyzed knee in the NFL is back to wreak havoc on the league. Tom Brady’s return makes the Patriots a Super Bowl threat. They have the best coach in the NFL over the last decade in Bill Belichick. They have the best receiving corps in football outside of Arizona. And their defense is always tough.

Granted they have questions at running back, but they always have questions at running back. Laurence Maroney is listed as the starter, but BenJarvis Green-Ellis and Fred Taylor will see time there as well. Brady’s knee was shredded less than 12 months ago, and as of now they have only undrafted rookie Brian Hoyer as a backup. They are rumored to be looking at AJ Feeley, but ESPN”S Adam Schefter reports that deal is unlikely to happen.

If Brady’s knee holds up, they will be dangerous. If not, they will be beatable. Either way, in the tougher AFC, they will be battered and bruised by the time they get to play the Eagles in the Super Bowl.

4. Baltimore Ravens

They have their usual ferocious defense, and Joe Flacco now has a year under his belt at QB. They are very well coached and well assembled by GM Ozzie Newsome. The offensive line may be one of the league’s best. Did I mention the defense? It’s pretty good.

But they have major questions at RB and WR. Derrick Mason changed his mind about retirement, but one has to wonder how enthusiastic he’ll be by, say, week eight. The defense is good enough to win a lot of games by itself, but can that propel them to the Super Bowl? They did it before in 2000, but this defense is not as good as that one, which was arguably the best ever. This offense is better than that one also. Do they have enough to get by the Steelers and Patriots? Maybe. Do they have enough to win it all? I think not.

Honorable mentions

Green Bay and Minnesota are sexy picks this year. San Diego and Indianapolis are always in the mix, and should be this year as well. But all four are all in the next tier of teams behind the four mentioned above.

My official prediction? In a game for the ages, the Eagles beat the Steelers, 20-17 in Super Bowl XLIV.

Stone Cold Lead Pipe Lock(tm).

Confessions of a Seminole Fan: Tim Tebow is The Greatest Of All Time

G. O. A. T.

 

OK, maybe not yet. But after he leads the Gators to their first ever undefeated season, wins his third national title and wins his second Heisman Trophy, he will remove all doubt.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The list of my favorite college football players of the last 25 years that are not Seminoles is short. These are the guys I loved to see play, even against my beloved Noles.

Tommie Frazier. Eric Crouch. Reggie Bush. Vince Young.

I am obliged to now add a Gator (gasp) to that list.

Fact is, he would make my favorite list even with the Seminoles included.

We’ve heard all the lines about Superman wearing Tim Tebow underwear, he was asked to be Pope, but was too modest to take it, etc. He is a phenomenal human being, which certainly counts for a lot. But when his college career is remembered, it will be, at least in my mind, for what he said after the Gators most recent loss to Mississippi:

“You will never see any player in the entire country who will play harder than I will play the rest of the season. And you will not see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody for the rest of the season, and you will never see a team play harder than we will the rest of the season.”

Then he did it.

I mean, guys SAY crap like this all the time. And surely, Tim Tebow was not the only Gator who elevated his game after that one point loss last year. But the guy basically called HIMSELF out. In this age of zero accountability, he took accountability, put his team on his back and carried it to the National Championship.

A Gator!

In my mind, he should have won the Heisman for that speech (and his subsequent backing up of the speech) alone. Forget the stats, which are impressive alone. This year he will become the SEC’s all time leader in yards, passing TD’s and rushing TD’s. He is already the all-time conference leader in passing efficiency. 

Not enough to convince you? The guy is a winner and a natural born leader. He knows how to handle himself with the press and in public. He recently acquitted himself very well in a press conference when he was asked a ridiculous question about his virginity.

Will he be a great NFL player? Probably not. But that is not the question here. He embodies what makes college football superior to the pro game. The passion these young men have is unrivaled.

And Tim Tebow will go down as the best of them all. Ever.

I bleed garnet and gold. I remember with glee the Choke at The Doak and with horror Wide Right I, II and III (and Wide Left, too). I love the Florida State Seminoles.

But the truth is the truth. It is what it is. And after this season, it will be three National Titles, two Heisman trophies and the first undefeated season in the storied history of the University of Florida football program.

If he does it, he deserves the title of G. O. A. T. Greatest Of All Time.

And he will top my list as favorite of all time. Sorry, Charlie (Ward).

Sean Landeta Irate That Eagles Let Michael Vick Wear Number Seven (SATIRE)

 

In an angry, tear filled press conference, ex-Eagle/Giant/Ram/Buccaneer/Packer/USFL Star punter Sean Landeta lambasted the Philadelphia Eagles for allowing new quarterback Michael Vick wear number seven.

“Everybody knows that seven is my number, man,” said a visibly shaken Landeta. “When you think Philadelphia Eagles and the number seven, who comes to mind?

“Sean Landeta, fool. That’s who. You better recognize.”

Vick was recently released from prison after serving 18 months for bankrolling a dog fighting operation. However, that wasn’t Landeta’s problem.

“It’s about respect, son,” said Landeta, wiping away tears and patting his chest. “Respect!”

Landeta got angrier when asked if he had been drinking.

“Look, man, you can’t understand this, because you never strapped on the armor and went to war for the Eagles and five other teams.” Standing abruptly and knocking over the press table, Landeta, arms spread wide, then bellowed, “I AM THE GREATEST!”

Philadelphia quarterback Donovan McNabb seemed puzzled by the whole thing.

“Who?” said McNabb. “Sean Landeta played for the Eagles? While I was playing here? Really? Huh.”

Eagles President and COO Joe Banner said in a statement: “While we very much appreciate the efforts Shaun (sic) Landeta gave during his time here, the fact of the matter is that his jersey doesn’t make us any money. Michael Vick, on the other hand, sells lots of jerseys. We couldn’t care less what he did.

“It’s all about the Benjamins, baby. Ka-ching!”

Landeta clearly disagreed. “How many Super Bowl rings does Vick have? None. I got two. OK, so both were with  the Giants, but still. I’m a champion. He’s a felon.

“I mean, it was bad enough that they let Jeff Garcia wear it. I didn’t say anything about that. But this is too far. TOO FAR!” He then put his head down, sobbing.

Philadelphia head coach Andy Reid addressed it in his post practice news conference as usual.

“Uh, injuries, Westbrook’s ankle came out ok, he should be good to go for the season, uh, Celek, he, uh, his, uh, shoulder is coming along, he will play Thursday night, uh, Abiamiri, he’s, uh, close to 100%, he’s, uh, he’s chomping at the bit to get out there, uh, the Andrews Sisters still can’t do anything, uh, time’s yours.”

After being asked about Landeta’s press conference, Reid said, “I don’t comment on guys that don’t play here. I’m not gonna get into all that.”

Bobby Hoying could not be reached for comment in his van down by the river.

Brad Lidge Continues Relentless Pursuit Of Blown Saves Record(SATIRE)

 

With his Major League leading eighth blown save, Philadelphia Phillies closer Brad Lidge is ever closer to fulfilling his boyhood dream of being in the record books for most blown saves in a single season.

“When I was a young boy, I always dreamed of breaking records in baseball,” said Lidge after literally throwing away a game with the Atlanta Braves. “But there was always one that was near to my heart, the holy grail. The single season blown saves record.”

The current record for blown saves in a season is fourteen, held by four different players. The last pitcher to do it was the Minnesota Twins’ Ron Davis in 1984.

Lidge was visibly choked up when talking about the record.

“That was a magical year, 1984,” said Lidge wistfully. ”It takes a special kind of situation. You can’t just suck. You have to suck in a special way.

“Kind of like I do this year.”

Lidge was in danger of saving the Braves game yesterday. With his Phillies leading 3-2 in the bottom of the ninth, it started off well enough for Lidge with Braves OF Garret Anderson singling to right, just under the glove of Gold Glove second baseman Chase Utley.

“That was a break right there,” said Lidge.

Then Matt Diaz laid down a bunt just to the right of Lidge. He had time to throw to second and start the double play.

“That went through my mind as I reached for the ball,” said Lidge. “But then I thought, the record!

“I bobbled the ball and threw it into right field. I had no choice, really.”

With that, Anderson scored. Lidge, charged with two errors on the same play, knew his work was not done yet. He then walked the next two batters, one intentionally, then struck out Ryan Church.

“It was more dramatic that way,” he said.

Then, to the surprise of no one, Lidge left a slider over the plate that Omar Infante hit into left field for the win.

More importantly for Lidge, the blown save.

“I really think I can do it if I get the opportunities,” said Lidge. “I’m glad Kim (Myers) hit (her husband and injured Phillies pitcher) Brett (Myers) in the eye like I asked her to. That should buy me a couple extra chances.”

When told that Kim denied that and that the Myers claimed that Brett fell out of his car, Lidge chuckled and said, “Sure, ok, whatever.”

“Six more to go. Wow, I can’t believe I am actually this close to history.”