Posts Tagged ‘Cowboys’
I’m Just Saying – Episode XVIII
WAPA! We go hard at Tim Tebow (TIM-MAY). 3rd voice(tm) features The Return Of James Cook, Super Cowboys fan Extraordinnaire. What’s Wrong Witchu Bryant Gumbel (besides the obvious)? And of course, twitter shout outs. It’s buck. Come get some.
Also available on iTunes here ——————> The Voice Of The Fan
I’m Just Saying – Episode XV
Whap! This week we get all up in some junk, Geoff blasts the Nationals, The 3rd Voice is NY Giants fan Marc Schmecko (fuhgeddaboutit, I’m takin over the show, I’m from New York here), what’s wrong witchu American Film Institute? Plus NFL Week 3 picks against the spread and twitter shoutouts. It’s way awesomer than what you’re doing know. Holla!
PS We know awesomer isn’t a word.
Also available on iTunes ——-> The Voice Of The Fan
I’m Just Saying – Episode XII
Back…caught you looking for the same thing! This week we predict the NCAA National Championship game, The Third Voice is Steelers fan Brian Peterson, wait until you hear his NFC Champion prediction, Top 5 NFL Busts still in the league, and twitter shoutouts. It’s like the remix to ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen! Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce…
Also available on iTunes here —–> The Voice Of The Fan.
I’m Just Saying – Episode XI
Boom. This week we talk Fantasy Football, the Third Voice is the World’s Greatest Cowboy Fan, James Cook. He vigorously defends his team’s honor (such as it is), Alex apologizes to everyone he has offended so far (sort of) and twitter shoutouts. It’s buck. Come get some.
I’m Just Saying – Episode X
Our landmark 10th episode! This week, will The U get the death penalty? New Feature: The Third Voice, our new guest segment. Some weeks we will invite a fan to defend their team while we rip it, some weeks we will have guest analysts, like this week with former Eagles and Giant Brian Mitchell. I think he played for some other team too. What’s Wrong witchu 49ers QBs? Top 5 all time coaches rants, and of course, twitter shoutouts. It’s jam-packed and full of win! Like whoa.
I’m Just Saying – Episode 8
This week, Alex invents a new word for Randy Moss (he’s “Favretired”). NFL Free Agency, Tiger Woods (and his women), What’s Wrong Witchu A-Rod? And Top 5 National Sportscasters of all time. Come get some!
Also available on iTunes, search “The Voice of the Fan.”
I’m Just Saying – Episode 4
This week we discuss Mike Vick, the idiocy of Cowboys WR Roy Williams, Why All Star Games Suck, and the hotness of US Soccer Goalie Hope Solo. Top 5 this week is greatest wrestlers ever (John Cena ain’t on the list), plus a new segment, What’s Wrong Witchu? And, as always, Twitter shoutouts. Alex is really funny this week, y’all. I’m just saying.
Shock and Awe: Cowboys Whack Wade Phillips Plus Tonight’s NFL Game vs. the Spread
Wherever you are, stop what you are doing and pour one out for my dead homie, Wade Phillips.
Below is, verbatim, an e-mail I received from a fan about this. (OK, it was my uncle, but he’s a fan too.) The sorely under punctuated stream of consciousness is mesmerizing.
“Sad, you mean to tell me that a 1 and 7 team of gutless quitters cant use a tried and true coach/puppet
Makes me sick, the look in his eyes says it all (they say “effin Scandrick”) I cried for much of the 2nd half
How ticked is J Jones gonna be in the offseason of unrest, he wants to be the Yankees of Football and spend a billion dollars on players and have them coached by his ego, I think the players union are going to want a baseball like agreement, and in his frustration JJ will be a willing accomplice in blowing it all up for an every man for himself league of haves and have nots
My greatest fear is that in a division with NY revenue, Snyder EGO and revenue, and Jones bigger EGO and bigger revenue, the Eagles quickly become handicapped without a cap, and BOOM (hello nike)
The ETN eagle television network becomes a premium pay per view channel, national tv games become a thing of the past, and don’t think idiots wont pay ‘cause even a bye week for the Eagles is hard to take
On the Brightside, uniforms will look a lot more nascarish with sponsorship, how much for an O lineman’s buttock billboard; imagine a jiggley geico ad on Jason peters hind parts, a blue Viagra pill on a d lineman stomachs, the slacks hoagie shack wack of the game, will seem like a quaint throwback; after a score a mandatory interview with Pam Oliver on the Bud Light touchdown spotlight right before the ensuing kickoff and Bret Favre for AARP on his consecutive game streak being in jeopardy because of a midweek Blue Cross Blue Shield colonoscopy segment gone terribly wrong
Aaarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhh darn you jerry joonnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss”
Couldn’t have said it better.
Tonight, the Bengals are five point home dogs to the Pixburgh Stillers. If you have ever read this column (I know it’s a blog, column sounds better, shut up) you know that I am a huge fan of the home dog. Not tonight. Stillers in a laugher, give the five.
Week One NFL Picks Against The Spread
Already with the death threats.
Garrett Hartley, you better be glad these picks are for entertainment purposes only, because you cost me a win last night. Your two (not one, TWO!) easy misses last night created a push.
Which, if these picks were not for entertainment purposes, would have cost me money.
So, the next time I pick the Saints, and you cost me a win, you are DEAD TO ME.
So, anyway, with no further ado, and, I cannot emphasize this enough, for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, Week One picks:
Green Bay at Philadelphia (+3): Know this now: I am going to be picking the Eagles every week. Even on weeks like this, when I know they are going to get pounded like Kim Kardashian at a chess match, I’m picking the Eagles. Sometimes I’ll justify it. Sometimes I won’t. Take it as read. Eagles cover here.
Carolina at N.Y. Giants (-6.5): Ah, the half point hanger. You know, when the late touchdown cutting the final score to 20-14 costs you? Except here, the Giants will be riding the emotion of The First Game Ever At Fake Giants Stadium(tm), while the Panthers will be riding the arm of some guy named Matt Moore. The Giants are better than you think. They win easy here, take the Giants less the points.
Miami at Buffalo (+3): Miami. Great city. Great beaches. Great clubs. The football team as of late? Eh. But they are playing a Buffalo team so bad that Chan Gailey is actually being paid to coach it. Buffalo has a chance to be historically terrible. Miami wins by a lot, give the three.
Atlanta at Pittsburgh (+2): When was the last time the Stillers got points at home in an opener? Look, I know Ben “She Can’t Say No If She’s Passed Out Drunk” Roethlisberger isn’t playing. But I also know that Mike Tomlin has never lost on opening day. Never. You know what else I know? You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask on the old Lone Ranger, and you don’t bet against Tomlin. On opening day. Take the Steelers and the points.
Detroit at Chicago (-7): These are not the Matt Millen Lions anymore. Combine that with the fact that these ARE the Jay Cutler Bears, and you have the UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK. Detroit covers. Shoot, they might even win, starting the Lovie Smith Deathwatch(tm).
Cincinnati at New England (-4.5): Coach Belichick? Yeah, there’s a Lou Cifer on the phone, something about your deal with him being up. I’m so over New England. And I believe that Cincy is the third best team in the AFC, behind Baltimore and New York. Take the Bengals and the points.
Cleveland at Tampa Bay(-3): This game stinks. I mean peee-yooo. How many teams would be an underdog to Tampa Bay, which, for the second consecutive year, starts the season with me being unable to name three of their guys? (Is Doug Williams still there?) I’ll tell you how many: two. The only reason Cleveland isn’t the worst team in football is because Buffalo might be the worst team in football HISTORY. Cue the Eric Mangini Deathwatch(tm). Tampa rolls, give the three. *blinks* Did I just say that?
Denver at Jacksonville (-2.5): If a team stinks and no one shows up, does it make a sound? Only in Jacksonville, my friend. How in the world is Jacksonville favored here? Are you kidding? I would lock this one if not for the Sunday Night Bludgeoning we have this week. Denver wins by double digits. Who set this line, Jack Del Rio’s grandbaby?
Indianapolis at Houston (+2): Imma tell you something, Houston is for real. They are gonna win a lot of shootouts this year. The offense is ridiculous, and I have a huge man crush on both Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson. Schaub is going for 5k this year, and it starts this week when he rings up Indy for 450 (that’s fo-fiddy) and four TD’s. Houston wins with some ridiculous Arena Bowl type score, like 68-65.
Tennessee at Oakland (+6): Will the last person off the Vince Young Bandwagon(tm) please turn out the lights? Oh, wait, that’s me. I still believe, Vince. But the Raiders are better than you think. Titans win a close one, but Raiders cover. Tom Cable hits Chris Johnson with a chair.
San Francisco at Seattle (+3): Say, did everybody suddenly forget that Pete Carroll is a lousy NFL coach? The world will be reminded Sunday. San Fran works them like those kids in The Temple of Doom, covering the three easily.
Arizona at St. Louis (+4): I am so tempted to pick against Arizona every time they are favored, especially on the road, but only Tampa Bay prevents the Rams from being the worst team in the NFC. Plus, now that they have a QB that doesn’t make me want to puke, Arizona might not be so crappy. Take the Cards, give the four.
Dallas at Washington (+3.5): As if I didn’t hate Dan Snyder enough, I have to listen to Redskins commercials (since I live in the DC area) talking about Donovan McNabb (who for the rest of the season shall, in this space, be referred to as He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned, or HWNSNBM, for I am lazy) USING THE VOICE OF LEGENDARY EAGLES RADIO ANNOUNCER MERRILL REESE. I wanted to vomit. Now, I am forced to root for the FREAKING COWBOYS, because I hate the Redskins so much. Daniel Snyder, I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns. I hope you get leprosy. Cowboys by THREE TOUCHDOWNS. STONE COLD LEAD PIPE LOCK(tm).
Baltimore at N.Y. Jets (-2.5): I so want to say, “People, slow your roll. The Jets are a fine team, but come on, this is a little silly. Aren’t we getting just a little carried away?” But I can’t. I love, love, LOVE this team. I love the swagger, I love the coach, I love that dude with the fireman’s hat. They win an instant classic on a last second field goal, but Baltimore covers the tight 2.5 in this AFC Championship game preview. Must See TV.
San Diego at Kansas City (+4.5): Quick, name five guys on the Chiefs. No, sorry, Tony Gonzalez isn’t there anymore. Yeah, anyway, so, take the Chargers and give the points. This one is like stealing.
COLLEGE SPECIAL:
Penn State at Alabama (-12): Penn State shocks the world and covers the 12. If this column is missing next week, it’s because Nick Saban had me wacked for putting the Hoodoo Jinx(tm) on his Crimson Tide. WE ARE!
Let’s ride.
The Voice Of The Fan 